Bitter endings and new beginnings

Today, my Mom passed away. She had a Glioblastoma Multiforme brain tumor. This is such a little understood type of cancer. It is truly truly a horrible disease. We knew this would be our end result but somehow that brings so little solace. This part of our journey has ended and now grieving has begun. I will grieve. I will grieve and go on because that is what life is about. I must go on because nothing good can be had from marinating in one's own sorrow. I would like to take a moment to say what a wonderful woman my mother was. She was creative, caring and always encouraged us to go after our dreams. I will miss her and her wisdom.

Ugh!

Okay,
I'm needing to do an update especially since I'm a fickle blogger. So, while I try to find my digital camera to upload my most recent escapades I'll post this as a "bridge" until then. Apparently, though I earned my GI Bill, the veterans' affairs department is so overwhelmed that I'm going to experience an indefinite "delay" in getting my claim processed. That really sucks because it screws up my plans to go back to school at least for the moment. Ah well. Sooo, in the meantime, after much thought, I've decided that it might not be a bad idea to go back to work since the kids are a bit older and don't require my constant attention. I've got several ideas but I'm not completely committed to any one of them just yet. Then, there's the fact that I've not worked for quite awhile since deciding to stay home with the kids. In the current economy, I'm feeling a lot less than competitive in the job market. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful I don't HAVE to work but it would be nice to get back out there and the extra money sure wouldn't hurt. Soooo, if any news ever develops on the "Alicia would really like to be gainfully employed again" front, I'll post it. If not, I'll continue to post about what the heck ever it is that I'm currently up to. Here's a snapshot till I get the camera from the depths of whatever bag I've managed to put it in:

In my glass:
2007 Sebeka Cabernet-Pinotage

In my ears:
George Washington Biography audiobook by A&E
Tao of Healing by Dean Evanson and Li Xianting
Koyasan Reiki Healing by Deuter
Sacred River by Gandalf
Reiki Whale Dreaming by Kamal

On my needles:
Bed Jacket by Jennie Atkinson
Military Cardigan by Red Dog Knits (test knitting)
Firestarter socks by Yarnissima

Books and other stuff:
Veil of LIes by Jeri Westerson
Many paper related and screenprinting projects
Jeans pattern by Sandra Betzina

Socks and stuff

Okay, soooo I've been supah busy with back to school and all. Back to school means a new, faster paced routine. Kai is doing tackle football this year and everytime I turn around we have practice. The upside is that they have a criterium course around the practice field that tons of cyclists use to warm up for the velodrome on. Ding-light bulb moment!-Let me start bringing my bike so I can ride the course while Kai practices. Tomorrow we're apparently supposed to ride a 50 miler with our bike group. Lord I hope we stop at an Ihop for some pancakes at some point during that ride. My body is pretty sore from getting back to a more intense weight and cardio routine. So, now that all that is established let's talk crafty stuff. I've finished yet another pair of socks. These are a heavy weight cabled pair.I'll post pics this weekend along with another post. I'm been asked by a friend to host a stamping birthday party for her daughter in October so I'm really looking forward to that. In September, my buds and I are getting together to do a Halloween treat camp. Our goal is to get all of our kids' treat bags put together in one (or more) sittings so we have it done and ready to send to school with the kiddos. The plan is to do things early this year. I'll be hosting a Christmas Club in November for the same thing. Speaking of Christmas, I've made mention of a blog candy "contest" so to speak. I'll hash out those details and post on them this weekend. Later ya'll, Alicia

Sahara is done!

Well, I finished my Sahara yesterday and I'm really happy with it. I confess that I did mess up a few times due to not paying attention to the directions. Still, I enjoyed knitting it quite a bit. A new goal of mine is to knit up what I have currently residing in my house before diving through my garage for more yarn/projects. Not sure what I'll move on to next but I'll make up my mind tonight. Take care ya'll! Alicia

Mojo Monday card # 97

Okay, here is my Mojo Monday card as promised! I finally sat down this afternoon and got my creative cap on and cranked it out. Funny, I actually started out with some old buttons as inspiration but ended up going in an entirely different direction. Still, I'm pretty happy with the final product. Okay, now for the deets:

(all stuff is Stampin' Up unless otherwise noted)
Cardstock:
Earth elements--chocolate chip (I think) textured
So saffron
razzleberry cardstock and DSP
faux croco paper I got from Michaels-don't remember who made it

Other:
square fire rhinestone brads
canvas cuts elements circle
chocolate chip classic ink pad
soft suede classic ink pad
razzleberry stampin write marker
melon mambo stampin write marker
barely banana stampin pastel
chocolate chip stampin pastel
pretty in pink stampin pastel
gold glitter glue I got from michaels
SNAIL adhesive, zyron adhesive and glue stick

Whew! That was a long list!!! Dinner is on the stove so I'll save my knitting post for tomorrow. Later ya'll!

Bread and butter

Hey all! It's been rainy rainy here in Colorado Springs. I don't really mind it though. Still, I have been a bit behind in my Mojo Monday submission. Okay, I haven't even started it yet. But, I will have it done by Friday and posted. In the meantime, let me show you what has taken my attention. There's a little blog I like to read call Farmgirl Fare She makes awesome stuff! She has a recipe for some raisin bread which I whipped up Monday. Baking is so therapeutic and so yummy! So, I got on a bit of a baking jig and the kitchen was a complete wreck. Tuesday was pretty much dedicated to getting it back in order. I'm also almost done with my Sahara top. When it's finished. I'll post a pic and a link to it on Ravelry. In the meantime, I'm planning to showcase a number of handmade Holiday projects here on my blog. I have a big handmade goal this year that will be easier to tackle if I start early. If you want to join in, please feel free. Who knows? There could even be some blog candy involved!!! Later ya'll!

P.S. Almost forgot, Hope made a great comment on my raw mohair posts in regards to yoke. Do read her advice in the comments section in addition to my posts if you plan on doing some fiber processing with mohair. Thanks Hope!

Wednesday Round up

Thanks so much for the comments! It's nice to know that someone reads the blog! Well, I was going to do a Technique Tuesday post but spent the whole day in bed sick as a dog. Since I'm feeling better today, I'm going to do a longer post to make up for it. First, let's talk about stamping with bleach. I hadn't done this before but really wanted to give it a try. The resulting Best Wishes card is what I made. Here's how I did it:
Tools:
a plastic container and a very old rag soaked in bleach (not dripping though)
stamps
cardstock, ink, ribbon. pastels and adhesives.

Once I assembled my card the way I liked, I decided to stamp a bleached background for my sentiment. I simply dabbed my stamp onto my rag and stamped onto the cardstock. Don't worry if it takes a minute to show up, this is normal. And, voila, that's it! Now, it's very important to clean your stamp off properly right after. I use my stampin mist and stampin scrub to do that. I'll definitely be using this trick again. I'd like to try it on some darker colors for a more dramatic effect.

Now for the bonus item. Recently, I breezed through Michaels and picked up some $1 journals in the most fantastically bright colors you can think of. I love journals. I love notepads. I'm a bit obsessed with them. After seeing the spiral punch, I decided this little tool would allow me to make some great journals out of dollar store finds. I was right. Introducing, the Poe journal!
Deets:
(all materials are Stampin Up unless other wise noted)
Cast a Spell DSP
Perfect Plum cardstock
Black Grosgrain Striped Ribbon
Square " Fire" rhinestone brads
Canvas Cuts
Stampin Pastels
Stampin Write Black Marker
Blender Pen
Snail adhesive
Sticky strip
Tombow removable adhesive
Spiral Punch

Basically, I simply measured , diassembled and reassembled the journal after covering it with my chosen paper. Too easy. I love the Cast a Spell paper more than I thought I would. I didn't want the journal to be too Halloweeny so I almost didn't use this paper unitl I saw the sheet with the birds. It made me think of Edgar Allen Poe. Thus, the Poe journal.

Hope this inspires you to make your own journal and try a new technique! Thanks, Alicia

Monday Mojo Card

So, time for another submission for Mojo Monday. I'm digging this because it's getting me to use my paper and stamp supplies. My husband is not digging this because I've commandeered the dining room table. So, we've been eating picnic style on the floor. Still, I'm doing some sewing stuff Wednesday and he's lined me up to do some hemming for him. I've decided whether school is in the cards for me in the fall or not, I'm the type of girl who needs a schedule and some concrete goals. So, today, I've established some workout goals to last until school starts in August. I've been floundering a bit since the triathlon at the end of May. Perhaps I'll do another triathlon in September before the season is over. We'll see. I"m contemplating moving my blog and renaming it to more accurately reflect my interests. If I do, I'll keep this one live and link the new site. Till then, here's my Monday card. I used all Stampin up supplies. Deets as follows:
Cardstock:
Apricot Appeal
Walk in the park DSP
Mellow Moss
Ink:
Whisper White Craft Stampin Pad
Chocolate Chip Classic Stampin Pad
Ribbon:
some vanilla colored ribbon I got on sale ages ago at Michaels.

Mojo Monday card

Hmmm. Okay, here is my Mojo Monday card. I can truly say that I inherited none of my grandfather's ability to take photos. Something about cameras I just can't figure out. Ah well. So, now that we've established my non photo taking ability, here are the deets for the card:
All supplies are Stampin up unless otherwise noted...
Cardstock: Soft Suede, Crushed Curry, Razzleberry, and dusty durango. I also used a tiny bit of the Razzleberry Designer series paper as well.
Other stuff: Canvas cuts (sadly now discontinued!), and Stampin' Write markers in razzleberry, crushed curry, and bermuda bay. The ink I used for the stamping was Classic stampin pads in Soft suede, dusty durango, and chocolate chip.
Stamps: Rustic rooster (now a retired stamp set) and fundamental phrases.

The new holiday mini catalog coming out in September has some great stuff in it. I can't wait to make several things. Can you say big August preorder for me!!! I'm also, in knitting news, working on Sahara by Wendy Bernard. I'm using knit picks shine worsted in Wisteria. When I have more progress, I'll post a pic. Most of my knitting stuff though, will likely be on ravelry with the exception of the big projects. Well, I'm off to enjoy another cup of coffee before we head off to the Celtic festival. I earned it after a pretty grueling (for me anyway) 26 mile ride yesterday that consisted mostly of climbing. I rode with the "enthusiastic" group! They hand my arse to me everytime!!!! Still, it's good to ride with folks who push you. No other way to get better! Take care ya'll!!!

First Triathalon in the books!!

Well, I finished my first triathalon and am quite proud of myself. I finished second in my age group but must confess that there were less than 50 females in the whole thing so I'm not sure that's such a big deal. Still, I'll claim it! My total time was 1:25:06.9. My swim was 13:20 for 400 meters. Definitely slow but I also made a very conscious effort to pace myself so I wouldn't gas out. I'd like to take some swimming lessons when the kids go back to school so I can improve my stroke. My bike was 35:54 for 11.2 miles. Slower than I would have liked but I'm still pleased with it. My run was 29:58 for 3.1 miles. Very slow but considering that I'd only been running for about a month and a half prior to the event after a several year hiatus, I'm happy. The thing I like about first races, well, any race. It gives you a nice yardstick to try to improve. How can you set goals if you don't know your current limit? So, my goal is to do another sprint triathalon and then an olympic one. Long term, before I'm 40 I'd like to do an ironman.

Stuff I've been doing

Okay. Not sure if anyone still reads this but I'm going to update anyway. I've relocated to Colorado Springs and except for the wind I really like it. My time is very focused right now on training for my first ever sprint level triathalon. Since I am a really bad swimmer this is a big goal for me. Really, I just want to finish and not require any emergency service in the process. So, that said. here are some pics of my projects.

Raw mohair up to my armpits part 2

Let me preface this post by saying that I am assuming you have some basic knowledge of fiber processing. How to use hand combs, etc. My intent in this tutorial is to give hope to those who have purchased some really dirty fiber that they are considering tossing. You may end up tossing a good deal of it but there may be the opportunity to salvage some really lovely bits of it. Before you toss it, at least try to process a small bit of it to see how turns out. I can't guarantee you'll be able to use it but you may. My first raw fiber purchase was on ebay before I knew much about buying fleece. It was hopelessly felted and filthy but I learned a lot from it. This batch of fiber I recently purchased was like a diamond in the rough in many ways. It was seriously filthy but I knew that there was some real yumminess underneath. For a bargain price, I was willing to put in the work. If you're willing to put in some work, you just may get some great fiber from that "what was I thinking" purchase. I recommend hand combs and flick carders in this process because they really help get the fleece much cleaner post wash than hand cards. You can always blend your fiber later using a drum or hand card knowing that you won't be getting it dirty or causing damage to your equipment.

Okay, here goes for part two of "really dirty" fiber processing. Sam (Mrs Pao) adds vinegar to her wash to cut the sheepy smell. I am definitely going to try that because the wet animal smell can be really overpowering!
So, you've scoured and dried and things still look a little full of vm and not so wonderful. Here's how to go about processing the rest of your fiber.

Step 1:
Shake that dry fiber like a polaroid picture to get out any extra vm. Really give it a good look over to see if there are any parts which are just incredibly still full of vm or even tangled. For those really nasty parts, just toss them. Now that your pile of clean fiber is waiting to be processed, let's gather our flick carder and combs.

Step 2:
I personally use a cat brush or a wider tooth metal hair pick to open the locks to the fiber. This helps me get out any tiny vm that the wash didn't and makes my fiber ready for combing. Grasp your fiber at one end and begin using a flicking motion with your wrist to brush out your locks.

Once you get one end brushed out, brush the other end of the fiber  out. This fiber is now ready to lash on.

Step 3:
Lash the fiber onto your hand comb taking care not to stab your fingers!!

Step 4:
Use the hand combs to transfer fiber from one comb to the second. Paradise Fibers has a wonderful video tutorial for this as well as some excellent and affordable hand combs. Pull the fiber from the combs. You can use a diz if you like.

Step 5:
Admire your results. In front of the yarn in the photo are two "puffs" of mohair that were handcombed using this process.You went from icky to lovely! Enjoy your fiber!

Raw mohair up to my armpits part 1

Okay, so I decided it's time for a fiber related post. Long overdue. I got some (well, a TON) of raw mohair, llama, and wool from a local farmer recently. What can I say? I love fiber! During the scouring process, I sort of wondered what the heck I was thinking. How on earth was I going to process all this? This fiber was really really raw (which was disclosed to me prior to sale so I'm not griping!). Had I just bitten off more than I could chew? How much of this fiber would I be able to process into something useable for my purposes? So, I took a deep breath and decided to take a few samples of some of the fiber that was already dry to process. Turns out, it's really nice once it's combed. So, for all you fiber fanatics or fiber beginners who might have scored some really really raw unskirted and not coated fiber, here's my tutorial on how to make it work so you don't throw it out as a loss.

Step 1:
Take a deep breath and get organized! You can do this!! First off, you must skirt the fiber. I like spreading out in my driveway to do this. Trust me, you have to do it outside. It's going to be messy. Go up and down the fleece removing large bits of bugs, vm, and possible matted areas. Set your trash to the side. Grab the fleece and shake it out very well to get more vm and dust out. This may need to be done more than once depending on your fleece. Put all your "keeper" fleece in a clean bag and take a big long break. You earned it.

Step 2:
Okay, get yourself a plastic storage bin. I use a medium size one, a long handled spoon, and some liquid detergent. I recommend dawn. You might also want to have a mesh sink drain insert handy. Place your bin in your tub and fill with the water all the way on hot. Be careful not to touch in order to avoid burns. You might want to wear a pair of heavy duty dishwashing gloves to protect your hands. Fill your bin about halfway full and shut off the water. Squirt some dawn in and gently swirl it around with your spoon being careful not to create suds. Gently place your dirty fiber in the bin and use the spoon to dunk the fiber under the water. Be careful not stir in order avoid felting. Now, leave the fiber alone until the water is cool to the touch. This will take much longer than you think.

Step 3:
Once the water is cool to the touch, secure your mesh sink strainer around your tub drain (just in case) transfer your wet fiber to an empty plastic bin and dump the filthy water out in the tub. I recommend the sink strainer to protect your drain. You should also wear crappy clothes because you're definitely going to get messy. I personally use a handheld shower head to rinse my tub after each water dump to make clean up easier.

Step 4:
Fill your empty bin again with hot water but this time, do not add the detergent. Simply place your wet fiber gently in the bin and again allow to cool to touch for draining. This step should be repeated until your water is basically clear. If you still have some vm bits in the fleece, do not fear. We will handle that later.

Step 5:
You have a few options here. You can use your spin cycle to help drain water from your wet fleece or you gently press the water out of your fleece to aid in drying. A word of caution, if you have a very fine fleece (like merino) which is prone to felting, you may want to err on the side of caution and skip this step. It will take longer to dry for sure but that's better than accidentally felting your fleece. Find an area (in the sun if you can!) to spread out your fleece on a large sheet or even on old clean cardboard boxes to dry.

I'll follow up with a tutorial on processing that raw scoured fiber using a flick carder and hand combs on my next post. Above are some pics of my really raw fleece drying after scouring.

Long Hot Summer

Summer has been scorching hot and unpredictable in my neck of the woods. I drove down at the end of May to help Mom finish up her chemo/radiation and move back to Kansas only to stay longer than I thought. Mom's platelets and white blood cells dropped to the point of having to completely stop her chemo and radiation. It turns out, she is unable to tolerate the temodar (chemo) so she will not be able to continue that. At the end of June, she had three seizures in one day. We ended up in the ER and an MRI showed possible tumor growth but definite swelling. She was put on anti seizure medicine and her decadron (steriods) increased to counteract the swelling. Thankfully, the doctors gave her a blood transfusion and chose to continue radiation. We finish radiation next week. The following week we will be in Houston for another follow up. From there, we will go back to Kansas. The setbacks were disappointing but Mom's spirits are definitely up since we've has some visitors over. In Houston, we'll find out what our other alternatives are since Temodar is off the menu. The boys have learned how to swim since we've been here. My cousin, Renee, has been a saint. She has helped out with the kids so much I can't even begin to repay her. This has been a summer of melancholy reminiscence and bittersweet new memories. Still, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Updates

Well, I know it's been awhile but things have been strange and fast paced here. Mom underwent a successful surgical resection and 90% of her brain tumor was removed. The surgeon confirmed that her tumor was indeed a glioblastoma multiforme. She's currently undergoing oral chemotherapy and radiation. Alan and I have moved into a new house on post that is handicapped accessible. Once Mom finishes her chemo and radiation, she'll move up here with us. Right now, she's in a wheelchair but is working on using a walker. Her goal is to be able to go back to her house by the time we move from Kansas in December. Will that happen? I don't know but I think it's a great goal. Life is now divided into "before cancer" and "after cancer" for all of us. What will it be like having Mom under our roof? I know how much she values her privacy and we certainly have a routine of our own as well. Will her treatment stop the tumor from growing? For how long? What's going to happen when the tumor does regrow? Glioblastomas are uniformly terminal. How do you deal with people who can't understand that this is terminal? If I hear one more "miracle" story about someone who knew someone blah blah blah I'm going to come completely unglued. Right now, I'm just struggling to be positive for Mom and yet maintain a realistic perspective. She bounces back and forth between acceptance and denial. I guess we all do that. Right now, this is an exercise in living in this very moment because that is all we have. That is all anyone really has.

Cancer sucks.

I saw that on a button today on a woman at MD Anderson Cancer Center. That's where I am right now. My mother was diagnosed with a primary brain tumor, probably a glioblastoma multiforme, about the 3rd of March. Time has become too quick and yet slow all at once. We were fortunate enough to get her in at MD Anderson. If you don't know, MD Anderson is the #1 cancer treatment center in America. Mom has brain surgery tomorrow to remove as much of the tumor as possible. That will likely be followed by chemo and radiation. There are so many concerns and issues that I can't begin to name them all right now. For today, I can only focus on the surgery. We can't begin to make any plans beyond that. I've journaled about this and contemplated posting those thoughts to the blog but have decided against it. Right now, I need a place to record my thoughts and fears in a private way. I'll keep the blog updated with Mom's condition and the usual stuff. I guess not much is usual these days. Mom may have to come and stay with us in KS if she is unable to care for herself. I'm not sure she wants to do that but I don't know what other alternative there could be. I know I'm rambling but it is just so unreal. So, tomorrow we wait and pray. Till later, Alicia

Tour de Hamster

The first race is in the books ladies and gents!! The weather was warm and windy. The riders were nervous and excited. Yet, we all did a great job and had fun. Now, I have a baseline to work from in order to improve. Okay, my improve list was really really long but that's okay. Everyone starts somewhere. A few highlights from the day.

Those cat 3 dudes are really fast.

Apparently there are enough men in Cat 5 to sort the groups into over 35 and under. That is not the case for the ladies. We cycled with girls who still had acne and braces. You have no idea how much that sucks.

When an 8 year old on a bike cheers you on while rounding a corner, you will indeed feel old and fat even if they were really sincere and cute.

When you get dropped by the peleton at the very start because you're screwing around with your clipless pedals, don't get an ego and think "I can catch up!" when you are fighting a 20 mph headwind. It ain't happening.

Gear selection and drafting matter. I was spinning like a hamster on some stretches while I screwed around with my gears. Apparently screwing around with gears and pedals was a big part of my race. I should have gotten over myself and drafted with my teammate Paula.

When your teammate is panting like a dog and her heartrate monitor is beeping like mad, she isn't trying to psych you out, she's reached critical mass but can't slow down for fear of not finishing. I had to explain this to Paula who thought I was a little nuts.

When your team captain/coach tells you to warm up until you are nice and sweaty and fairly winded, he means it. It shocked the hell out of my body to go from zero to 90rpm in 6 seconds flat. That might explain why I was panting and beeping all the way around the course.

FYI to the guys on my team, I WASN'T smiling while racing--I was BREATHING!!!! Also, I appreciate the tip on zipping up my jersey. I wasn't ignoring you when you told me that, my bike shorts were hung up on my seat so I was completely unable to sit down and was trying not to plant my face into the pavement before the race even began. This is a terrifying thing to someone who just pushed off towards the lineup. Rest assured, once I "unhung" my shorts, I was able to zip that jersey up.

Just sayin'!!!!
Till later, Alicia

Cha Cha and the first ride

You know how you have a great idea and get some encouragement to go for it; then when you do, you got a lot more than you bargained for in the process. Not that that’s a bad thing, it just takes you by surprise because you’d not been expecting it. That’s how my first ride with Cha Cha turned out. I got this itch to ride “for real” after I became a certified spinning instructor. It was an itch I never scratched till we had some money available and my husband told me I should take the plunge. That’s how I ended up with Cha Cha.
Cha Cha is my new and first “big girl serious” bike. She’s a black and pink Specialized Dolce road bike. Very beginner friendly but with some cool features and women specific stuff that makes her fab. You might wonder why I named her Cha Cha. I’ll give you the background on that before you hear about our ride. Growing up, my cousins, sister and I loved the movie Grease. My secret favorite character was Cha Cha. The trashy girl who rocked the hand jive with Danny. Remember her? I loved that character because she was a bawdy and unabashedly in your face character. Okay, mostly I loved her because she was trashy. Still, whatever. So, Cha Cha became my bikes’ name.
Friday evening I rode 25.3 miles on the bike shops’ indoor trainer. I was feeling confident and comfortable and somehow got bamboozled into the Saturday morning 25 mile ride. Sure, it would be the first time I’d ridden since I was a kid but I was confident I could do it. Sort of anyway. I got plenty of rest Friday evening and got up bright and early for the ride. Once I got all geared up and got myself to the shop, my nerves didn’t have too much of a chance to set in before we were outside ready to go.
I got off to a very shaky start. I instantly fell behind as I wobbled my way toward our intended route. Seriously, I wobbled like you wouldn’t believe. Immediately I wondered what the hell I’d gotten myself into. Then, I remembered how much I’d paid for the bike and inwardly groaned. I couldn’t give up this soon. I figured I go just a bit longer but truly, I was unable to imagine how I would accomplish all 25 miles. I continued to wobble and not stay near far enough right as I should. Plus, I was slow as all get out. I mean SLOW!!!
We got past the in-town stuff with all the stops and starts. Finally, I got less terrified by the vehicles passing and did a better job of keeping as far right as possible. Most folks gave a nice wide berth and just a few honked their horns as though we shouldn’t be on the road at all. Assholes. Still, I wobbled everytime I moved my hands to change gears. That was a lot because I changed gears more than most folks change their panties. Aerobically and muscularly as a whole, it wasn’t so taxing I couldn’t do it at a faster pace for the majority of the ride. The reason for my slowness? I was terrified I would be completely out of control. Shit, I felt pretty out of control already. The unstable feeling of the bike was so incredibly unnerving that my only goal became finishing without having a wreck or endangering anyone else. It was a big mental obstacle for me.
I was so focused on that goal I didn’t feel the cold wind or the steadily numbing crotch I was getting until about halfway through. I ignored it and it went away--mostly. The dog that ran out and gave chase got little notice from me. I was on autopilot and he would have to find another impromptu chew toy. I just needed to finish. Finally I was steady enough to change gears without wobbling, at least on the right hand side anyway. The left hand gears almost screwed me up twice so I’ll definitely have to work on changing those gears while on the trainer Monday. The owner of the shop and the other riders were great. The owner stayed with me the whole time and one of the more experienced riders followed me out of town to make sure I got out to the country road okay.
The thing I learned is that pedaling with very little resistance left me feeling out of control. As long as I kept the gears so I could “feel the road”, I felt more in control. Back at the shop after the ride, the shop owner demonstrated on a wheel how the faster you go, the harder it is to actually tump over. Conversely, the slower you go , the more likely you are to crash. That made me feel better. The downhills will still probably unnerve me a bit but I can get over it. If I don’t, my brake pads might need replacement in record time. I made my ride in 2 hours, 19 minutes, and 54 seconds.
I didn’t set the world on fire. I might have been the last person in but I finished. I finished when I wanted to cry and give up. That was about 1/4 of the way in but I didn't want to look like a big baby or spoil anyone else's ride. I kept going when I wanted to turn around. Okay, mostly I wasn’t able to turn around because the turn would have pretty sharp so I’m not sure how much that counts but I’m claiming it anyway. I rode. I rode when I felt like the bike was riding me. I kept riding until I felt like maybe, just maybe, I might be riding the bike myself just a little. By the time I reached the shop, my crotch was numb; my toes were cold and my legs were appropriately sore. The shop provided a bagel and cream cheese. Let me tell you, a bagel never tasted so good. I'm on tap to do it again Saturday. Here's to being new, being humbled and always learning even if you have to stuff down your fears. Later, Alicia

Finally here!

Okay, so, I took some pics of our house in Texas in all its' chaos during the move. Our house here in Kansas is still in chaos but we're slowly making heads or tails of it all. We arrived here to snow and freezing temperatures! See how glad I am that I know how to knit?! No shortage of warm knitted clothing around here. Once I get the craft room in order, I"ll be posting my done stuff more regularly. I do have a few things I managed to get done that I'll post about week after next. Why that long? Well, because I fly out to NC tomorrow to help my sister with an unexpected move overseas. She's darn lucky I'm in "moving" mode!!! Hope everyone had happy holidays and a good new year! Till later, Alicia
P.S. These pics should be titled, " Why you seriously do not want to move over the holidays. Seriously."